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February 06 It's been awhile...Is there anyone out there???
I've been gone awhile, huh? For those of you who have been diligently checking in to see what's new, thanks. I all but gave up on MSN last September after they gave the platform a complete overhaul, as it wasn't responding the way it used to, and I felt like I didn't know my way around anymore. I found it ran so slow and heavy that I went elsewhere looking for other more user-friendly blogsites.
Another reason for my absence is my love affair with Flickr. I have discovered digital photography, and I'm absolutely smitten with it. I think anyone who is serious about the hobby should sign up and share their work. So much fun!!! Another reason I love Flickr so much is because it lets you blog about your photos, or those of your friends, and create a blog posting from the Flickr site. The blogsite I have been using for this is Blogger. It isn't as user friendly as this site was when it comes to formatting, but it is a nice site to blog on otherwise.
Cheers, and hope to see you soon! September 05 Remembering Dad...One year ago tonight, my Dad passed away.
He was very ill and had been living in a nursing home for three years after his diabetes had wracked his body to the point that his organs were failing on him. He had been on kidney dialysis for ten years - the longest his doctors have ever seen. He was fading away on us before our very eyes, and we knew he was living on borrowed time. He had always been very lucky to have survived many close calls with his health, and we often joked that he had more lives than a cat, or that he was born under a Lucky Star. My favourite memory of my Dad was when my oldest son Josh was very little. He called Dad "Boppa", and used to follow him around everywhere asking "Where ya gonin' Boppa? Whatcha doonin' Boppa?" Dad used to talk about that often, and enjoyed those memories very much himself. Josh spoke at Dad's funeral, and hearing him refer to him as Boppa then at age ten, years after he learned to properly pronounce the word "Grandpa", really choked me up. My phone rang just after midnight one year ago today. I knew instantly what the call was about even before I answered the phone. I was dreading that call, and hoped it would never come, although I knew in my heart it eventually would. We went to the nursing home to see him, and say our goodbyes. He was in bed, with his head turned to the side as if he was sleeping. He looked very small and frail...even more so than he normally looked. I sat with him for awhile and told him I loved him, and that he should rest now. After battling with his health for decades his war was finally over. Dad was 66 years old. Father of three and grandfather of five - three of whom he never did meet. Miss you and love you Daddy, today and always... Cathy, Pam, Jen, Joshua, Tyssen, Ashley, Abigail and Avery August 25 I miss my blogsite!People keep asking me about my blog, and say they like stopping by to check it out. However I feel bad that I haven't been updating it much lately. I used to spend countless hours on my Space, and always had something interesting to say, but now I feel as if I've just done it to death. I guess I'm just in a place right now where I've got other things on my mind. In addition, I am not crazy about the changes they've made to Spaces, and I'm finding it running very slow and hard to navigate. So I guess I'm just a little perturbed about it all.
At any rate, I want to continue to blog, because I really enjoy it, and because I like giving my friends something to think and talk about from time to time.
Like, for example, the story I read in the Globe and Mail today about a probe being done on free cosmetic surgeries some Australian military workers are having done that are intended to help them more effectively perform their job functions. Well some of these military personnel have taken to abusing this policy and having cosmetic surgery 100% on the taxpayer's dime to have nose and boob jobs done. One of the workers was quoted as saying that her small boobs made her very self-conscious and negatively affected her self-esteem enough to make it difficult for her to defend her country.
Jesus fucking Christ, give me a break.
I find it so disgusting that this kind of benefit abuse was allowed to happen. I hope that the assholes that partook in the ripoff are brought to justice and made to repay every last dime to the taxpayer. So what if someone authorized it? The fact that they even thought for a second they could get away with it and even try it makes my blood boil. They are asking for trouble, and I hope they get it.
-Bizzy August 07 Alice in WonderlandWow what the heck has MSN been up to these days? I can hardly find my way around here anymore! Is it just my imagination, or is this whole site still just as slow as ever and now much more complicated? I feel like I just walked through the looking glass for the love of gawd.
My blogging and stalking activity on Spaces has slowed significantly due to a few factors: life in general; school; socializing; and, most importantly, Flickr. I have fallen in love with that site and spend the majority of my free time now uploading and organizing my photos, as well as joining photo groups and forums about photography. I have been bitten by the shutterbug and just having fun with my digicam. I have discovered that it is a rather expensive hobby, and most of the gear that I as a budding photographer will need costs an arm and a leg! Good thing my birthday is coming up.
Here is a sample of some of my recent shots:
   I am just finishing a week of holidays with the boys, and they will be going back to their Dad's tomorrow. Things are more tense between us now than ever before, and I am at a loss as to how to deal with him. I envy people whose splits are so amicable and free of any evident dysfunction that you wonder why the hell they ever split in the first place. Bottom line is you have to love the kids more than you want to get back at each other, and this is the point that I cannot seem to get across to him. It has gotten to the point where he has elected a mediator, because he admits he is too emotionally charged right now to talk to me directly without losing it altogether. I called a meeting with him a week ago in an effort to sort things out now that the boys' trial year living with him has ended - and it failed terribly. I could not get a word in edgewise and was not able to discuss anything. All he was able to offer were profane insults and idle threats. The boys tell me they want to continue living with him, and this is the only thing that is keeping me from bringing them back to Oshawa. I am rooting for this mediation thing, because something has to give soon. On the school front, I have completed the fourth course towards the ten required for my HR certificate, and I am just waiting with bated breath for my grades to arrive in the mail. I am feeling fairly confident that I passed, and I am hoping for a solid A to keep my grade level up. You have to achieve a 70% average on all courses in order to qualify to write the provincial exam. Keep those fingers crossed for me peeps! I have a good month before my next course begins (I'm thinking of taking Labour Relations next), and so I think I'm going to take advantage of the downtime and get started on redecorating the vacant bedroom. I plan on moving both boys into that room and taking over their room (the master) for myself. Lucy has already completed the window treatment and bedding for the room, and they are lovely. I am feeling motivated to get going on it. Once it is done then I can focus on redoing the master, and we have some exciting plans laid for it as well. My poor house is an ongoing project, but it will be nice when it's all done.
The previous homeowner did a great job on recreating Scooby Doo, however the lime green walls are kind of an eyesore, and it is time for an update. We are planning a total change with a soft grey-blue shade for the walls, denim-look bedcoverings with matching window treatments and a complete overhaul of the existing shelving system. It is going to look fantastic!
July 20 Bizzy...as usualWell life is sure busy for good ol' Bizzy these days!
I am just finishing up my fourth course towards the ten required for my Human Resources certificate, and all the action seemed to happen at the end with an assignment and an exam due in the last two weeks. I am also trying valiantly to keep on top of the yardwork and housework that requires constant attention, hold down a FT job and try to have some semblance of a social life!
I'm also still not back to my normal routine since having my surgery, and I haven't been to the gym in three weeks! I'm starting to get mad at myself for being so scattered.
All this week I've been suffering with a sore neck and shoulder, and went yesterday to have it worked on. After an hour I was looser, but VERY tender, as she aggressively tackled the knots and tight spots. Tonight I am sitting in bed with an icy cold patch on my shoulder because it is still very sore and I can't turn my head to the right. It's this stupid bed I sleep in...the mattress is shot and needs replacing. I would totally invest a thousand dollars in a good, supportive mattress set if I had that kind of dough. I think it would totally be worth it!
Well I'm off to try to grab some quality shut eye...another thing I haven't been able to get much of lately.
B.G. July 14 Happy Birthday Tyssie!Exactly nine years ago today at 11:32pm, my youngest son, Tyssen Scott Smith was born.
I can't believe how the years seems to have both flown by, and stood still. It seems like just the other day, and a lifetime ago.
One of the funniest things about the evening was how my family, with the twenty-six hours of waiting for my first son to be born still fresh in their minds from two years previous, came into the room where I had just given birth after a mere seven hours of labour, and couldn't believe that I had already had him. There they were, with their pillows, blankets and Tim Horton's coffee all ready to bunker down for the night, almost looking disappointed!
My Tyssie (otherwise known as Spicy, or Spice Boy) is a charming, funny, animated, loving, sensitive and insightful boy who makes me feel proud to be his mommy. He has the family corniness and loves to ham it up whenever possible. He does funny impressions of people and makes me laugh all the time. I can't imagine not having him in my life. He is growing up so fast that I cling to every special moment that happens.
He is camping at Sauble Beach with his father, brother and friends right now, and probably fell asleep tonight tucked tightly into his sleeping bag listening to crickets chirping. Sounds like a birthday most nine-year-old boys would love to have! July 07 My Week with The BoysUnfortunately it wasn't a great one, as poor Bizzy has been recuperating from surgery and hasn't been much fun. However The Dudes and me still managed to do some fun stuff.
I picked them up on Monday and we stopped by Grandma's on the way home to have a visit with Auntie Pam, Uncle Jason and twin poppets Abby and Avery, who are visiting us from Arkansas until July 10th. We stayed up nice and late Monday night and watch Family Guy and Futurama. The boys wanted to see the movie 'Click', with Adam Sandler, so on Tuesday we went to the Oshawa Centre and caught the 7:10pm show. I was expecting it to be cheaper because it was Tuesday, but apparently Famous Players has been bought out by another company and they did away with cheap Tuesdays. Nice.
On Wednesday we had dentist appointments for the boys to have some cavities filled. With the exception of Josh, who threw the biggest spazz out on record a few years back when he screamed his lungs out for a half and hour straight in the dentist chair, I have never had a problem with them. Well Tyssen, who had a grand total of EIGHT friggin' cavities, completely lost composure in the chair this time resulting in the job only being half done and the dentist refusing to finish it. He informed me that he would ask I take Tyssen to a paediatric dentist to have the work finished. He advised that they would put him under sedation and be more effective at keeping him calm. I translated that to mean that they aren't bothered putting up with higher maintenance patients at this office, and prefer only to deal with the 'easy' ones. I wanted so bad to retort "Bite me with your pearly whites Doctor Dickhead", but I resisted.
After the wonderful dental experience, and with their faces half frozen, we had to rush out of the office to make our next appointment at the photo studio to have pictures taken! Not the best-laid plans, but what are you going to do? We were a few minutes late but managed to get some really sweet shots taken despite everything. I will post them on here as soon as I get them back.
Today we had the interment for my Dad's ashes, which the funeral home had been storing until my sister Pam's next visit home. It was a brief ceremony in which the Pastor who officiated at Dad's funeral, returned to recite the 23rd Psalm (I am not a religious person, but I found this very moving. Check it out!) and shake our hands before the funeral associate placed the small box carefully in the pre-dug hole in the ground. The workers at the cemetery got the spelling of our last name wrong on the temporary gravesite marker, which was disappointing and irritating. After the ceremony we headed over to my sister Jen's place. The boys were especially high strung and poorly behaved, and by the end of the visit Tyssen was grounded to his room for the rest of the night over something really stupid. He chose the grounding over the other option, so it was in his power to control the situation, but he decided to be stubborn and take the gamble. He lost.
While Tyssen served his time in solitary I taught Josh how to play two-handed euchre. It had been awhile since I played, so I had to Google the rules. We played a full game and the little bum kicked my ass! LOL.
Tomorrow we are going to a lakefront close by in Whitby called Heydenshore for a picnic. It should be a lot of fun as long as the weather cooperates. They have lots of park area to play complete with playstructures, picnice areas and a walking/biking trail. There is also an ice-cream truck that comes by every day around noon. We will bring our lacrosse sticks, skateboards and baci ball set and hopefully with only good behaviour from the boys, it should be a fun afternoon.
July 01 Happy Canada Day to all
138 years ago today we officially became known as the Dominion of Canada. Our first Prime Minister was Sir John A. MacDonald. He now graces our $10 bill. I found more interesting facts about our National Holiday here. Well I am celebrating the holiday weekend by doing nothing at all, other than recovering from minor surgery, and hanging out with family from out of town. I'm off work next week on vacation and will have my boys all week. Hopefully I can keep them amused with lots of fun summer activities.
Right now I am trying to rest and get back to normal. The Tylenol 3's I'm on are giving me wild nightmares, and I'm not getting much sleep. I'm switching to Ibuprofen and hoping that will solve that problem. The surgery was a success, according to the nurses, and in two weeks I'll be back in the saddle, as it were.
Hope you all have a fun, safe holiday weekend!
June 29 Random thoughts for a Wednesday eve...Ugh...I am stuffed to the gills tonight after a huge dinner with the gang at Jack Astor's in Whitby. We went to celebrate my boss' promotion, and I ate a little too much. That was over three hours ago and I'm still bloated. Bleh...
I'm going in for a little laparoscopic surgery tomorrow, and I figured I wouldn't be eating much afterwards, so I could afford a little binge. Last time I had this kind of surgery I was sufficiently nauseated following the procedure that I barely was able to eat anything. And speaking of which, I'm a little nervous: something about going under general anaesthesia just gives me the willies. I'm sure everything will be fine, as it was the last time, I'll just be relieved when it's over.
Behold my delicious nieces!!!!
Rub a Dub Dub...three lambs in a tub!
I have this pic, among others, posted on my Flickr site, and it is getting lots of hits. Everyone loves my girls!!! I get to hang out with them lots these days, as they are all up visiting from Arkansas until July 10th. It will break my heart when they go home again.
I'll be going under the knife around 1pm tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me that all goes well!
Later yo...
June 17 Stuff in my headWell I think I can relax a bit about the tenants now, as they seem to have settled down significantly following our chat the other day. I look forward to a peaceful and mutually respectful co-existence.
Some other stuff that has been going on in my life recently:
I can't seem to get myself down past 125lbs, and I'm getting pretty frustrated. My goal is to get to under 120, as close to 115 as possible. Considering that I am barely over five feet tall this shouldn't be a big problem, however my body has demonstrated its resistance to any kind of exercise I throw at it. Dietwise I have cut right back on carbs, but it is a daily struggle as I enjoy my breads and pasta very much, not to mention my sweet tooth. So the battle wages on...
My job has been very stressful and depressing this past week. I find I am starting to get hopelessly despondent at the quality of our temps (or the lack thereof), and find I have less and less respect for them each day. We have almost 300 people in our banks, but do you think I could reach anyone to get them to go out to work for us last week??? Forget it. They won't even return our phone calls for the love of gawd. And considering that most of them are on some form of social assistance, why the hell would anyone want to go out to work when they can sit at home on their asses on a beautiful day and collect money for it...money that we taxpayers are giving them???
 A tad harsh, but you get the idea
Lucy wants me to start working on my master bedroom now. OMG I just get all overwhelmed when I think of all the work that has to be done on it. You have seen the pics...it is going to be a huge project. I will have to spend a lot of money to get it looking the way I want it, so it will probably have to wait anyway until I am in a better financial position.
Eric, Laura, Pam, Jason and the twins are arriving in less than a week! I am so excited I can hardly wait. I have to get my house in order for that. I'm taking the Monday off so Eric, Laura, the kids and I can hang out for a bit before they have to go home. Oy...I'd better get cleaning up around here: it's a disaster!
June 11 The biatch rides againWell I had to counsel my new tenants the other day, as the same shit has started to happen AGAIN.
So I had to put on my "Landlord Bitch" hat, go downstairs and rap loudly on the door.
It seems one of the girls, never having lived away from her parents before and eager to play house, had decided to have her boyfriend come and spend a few nights in the apartment. They hadn't even been living in my basement for a week and there had been what seemed like a dozen or so people coming and going. Then one morning I woke up and heard a male voice coming from the apartment. My blood pressure immediately went up.
You will recall I had a similar problem with my last tenant, who had several different guys over for numerous sleepovers. She was paying dirt cheap rent and no utilities and our agreement was that it would be only her and her toddler son living downstairs. Well that quickly changed to whomever wanted to crash at her place, and they would even be there when she wasn't!!!
So I decided I am going to nip this one in the bud. I advised that our agreement only covered the two of them living downstairs, and anyone else staying overnight for extended periods could warrant an increase in rent. I reminded them that they are not paying utilities, and that having people spend the night is going to eventually wind up into the utility usage increasing. I also reminded them that as the homeowner I have insurance to cover only the residents of the home against personal injury, and if anyone who wants to come and stay here should be injured I could be looking at a lawsuit. I told them I can't stop them from having visitors, but if we are going to get along we are going to play by my rules. Overnight guests should be RARE, and if they want someone to stay overnight they should mention it to me first.
I hope I was successful at getting my point across, because things are going to go very sour if the crap continues. I told them we have a great relationship going right now, and I would hate to see it end.
I am keeping my fingers crossed, but I have learned you can never fully trust a tenant.
June 10 A quiet SaturdayToday I went to the cemetery to make the arrangements and sign the documents for Dad's burial. We have been waiting for Pam to come home before burying his remains so that we could do it when we're all together. The funeral home was gracious enough to store his ashes until such time as we were ready to have an interrment ceremony. We aren't going to do anything big, just have the immediate family present and have the Reverend come back and say a few words. He officiated at Dad's funeral and said that he would return at no extra cost to do a mini service for his burial, which we thought was very nice of him.
It will have been ten months since Dad died by the time we bury him. I can't believe that much time has gone by. I think of him often, and miss him dearly, but I know that he isn't suffering anymore, and that that is what he wanted...to be done being ill. He had been very sick for the last ten years of his life...that is a long time to suffer!
We are going to get a nice stone to mark the spot where he will be buried and we may put a train emblem on it, as Dad was a huge locomotive fanatic. I think he would really like that. Rob from Thornton Cemetery and Memorial Gardens was very helpful, friendly and patient while we went over the finer details of the arrangements. He really helped make it as easy as possible.
Dad wasn't the most planned, organized person around, but he did manage to arrange to have his funeral taken care of by taking out an insurance plan that would pay all the costs up to a certain amount. It ended up covering it all with some left over that Pam, Jen and I split. The death benefit that we received from the government will take care of the remaining costs. Dad had a little money left in his bank account after all the outstanding bills were paid that we will be able to divide between us as well. Dad would have liked that. He always used to say that if he won the lottery he would give most of his winnings to us, with the expectation that we would hire a private nurse for him so he could move in with us and get the hell out of Fairview Lodge. LOL.
Sighhhh...I miss you Dad.
June 03 Rain, rain, go awayWell our plans to visit the Brooklin Fair this afternoon were washed away in the unrelenting rainshowers. I have the boys for the weekend, and the added bonus of one of their friends who is staying overnight. It is a shitty, rainy day, and I get to stay cooped up inside with the four walls closing in on me. The constant demands from the boys coupled with their continuous and loud arguing and fisticuffs is not making for a very pleasant weekend to say the least. Can't wait for Sunday night...a day I usually dread.
After dinner (and provided bad behaviour doesn't get out of control) we are going to see X-Men - The Last Stand. The kids roll their eyes at me because I think Wolverine is HAWT!!! Mmm hmm he can scratch my back anytime, baby!!!
Something fun for a rainy day: I received this link in an email. It's called The Evolution of Dance, and it is just hilarious! Check it out and get ready to take a moonwalk down musical memory lane.
Well I guess I'd better go get dinner on the table. The natives are getting restless, and I think one of them is due for a timeout any minute now...
May 27 The Art of Patience
Created by me using Flickr fd toys
Well Bizzy is going to have to pull out all the stops and muster up some of the P stuff if she is going to keep from going crazy these days.
Funny how life can throw you some serious curves every once in awhile that require you to stop and take a step back, preventing you from going any further. My secret to not losing my sanity? Distractions and positive self-talk.
I'm talking of course about my life in general. My job, my health, my social life, my finances, my kids, etc.
I've never been the most patient person...in fact I've always considered my lack of patience a serious Achilles heel. It has often resulted in my hastiness to blurt out a response to something that I haven't properly thought through, resulting in getting fired from a job; to jump into a less-than-ideal relationship that ended very badly for all involved; to agree to rent my apartment to the first person who shows interest because I don't want to wait for a better offer resulting in having to tolerate the Tenant from Hell; and on and on it goes.
Yet there are times when I have demonstrated remarkable patience. When I made an incorrect stitch in a sweater I was knitting and had to unravel five or six rows of work to redo it all over again; when my three-wick candle wax leaked all over the decorative gravel and I had to pull each piece out of the wax one by one; when my favourite necklace became all tangled up and the fine gold chains had to be painstakingly de-knotted before I could wear it. There are times when I can just buckle down and get it done no matter how time-consuming or exasperating it can be.
Therefore I know I can do this. I know that I can summon whatever amount of patience I need to get me through these next few weeks. I know I can, I know I can! And I have some very pleasant distractions planned, so that will definitely help.
May 24 Why are people retarded?This blog entry is not intended to offend anyone with a disability. However if you do have a disability, you may be offended at being compared to the people mentioned herein...as they have serious issues. I apologize in advance if this message in any way upsets you.
WHY ARE PEOPLE FUCKTARDS?
<bitching on>
In the city in which I reside, as I'm sure in many cities, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a fucktard. For some reason the lower income populations breed complete and utter clusterfucks who have no idea what tact, responsibility and loyalty are.
I work for a temporary staffing service that attempts to find decent, hardworking and more-than-half-witted individuals to complete assignments for our customers. It is a daily struggle to keep these people at work, and we are often replacing errant employees who just didn't feel like showing up for work that day, or were 'sick' and didn't know they needed to call us to let us know they couldn't make it in for the shift they accepted.
When I took this job I was not prepared for all the butt-wiping, counselling and micromanaging I was going to be doing. Temp services get absolutely no respect from the clowns in this town. These people come into my office expecting that a job will be handed to them. They whine and complain if it doesn't turn out to be the job of their dreams, or 'injure' themselves and try to put in a WSIB claim so they can sit on their lazy asses, do nothing and collect money for it.
We try not to hire any retard that walks through our doors, believe it or not! We are actually trying to get you losers out to work for our customers, so you could at least act like you are interested in making something out of your pathetic little lives for the love of gawd.
<bitching off>
On a lighter note, I am very excited to report that Amanda has managed to secure that ass kicking cottage again for the last weekend in August! Woohoo I can't wait! I will take many more pics this time and make sure to post them in my Cottage Life album for all to see! Yippeeeee!!! (Just reread the above paragraphs if you don't think that I have completely earned this time off for some R&R.)
Bizzy OUT ;) May 22 Done like Desperate Housewives*** W A R N I N G ***
IF YOU HAVE TAPED THE SEASON FINALE AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY!
Well it wasn't the ending I was thinking it would be, but it was an entertaining close to the second season of one of my favourite shows.
Edie was mysteriously absent from any appearances, as was Andrew. I found this very interesting considering that they are the two most evil characters from the show...up until now, that is.
Bree sent homosexual son Andrew packing in the last episode after he slept with her bisexual boyfriend
Orson, the mysterious new dentist that has stumbled into the scene after 'saving' Susan from a confrontation with Mike in the movie theatre, has turned out to be a dark and sinister individual with an agenda that we don't fully understand yet. In the last scene he ran Mike down while he left a flower shop on his way to meet Susan for a romantic dinner during which he was going to propose. We do not yet know why he did this, or who he is working for. At the end of the show he stops by to visit Bree at home and congratulate her on a successful escape from the mental institution where they had met previously when he was there visiting a mystery woman. He presents Bree with a bouquet of roses and she invites him in. He follows her into the house with a look of dastardly deceit on his face.
We find out that Betty's son Matthew is actually the one who killed Melanie, not Caleb, his mentally challenged brother. He let his mother think it was Caleb because he knew she would protect him. Betty tries to contact Bree to let her know that her daughter Danielle, who has run away from home with Matthew, is in danger. Bree escapes from the mental institution (to which she committed herself after Danielle ran away) to try to save Danielle from Matthew. An old fashioned standoff in Bree's house with Matthew and Danielle results in Matthew's death from snipers who had been summoned by Betty when she called 911.
Betty was going to kill her son Caleb by poisoning his ice cream when she thought he attacked Danielle Carl, jealous of Mike and Susan's renewed love for each other, tries to piss off Mike by buying Susan and Julie a new house after Edie set fire to their old one. Carl confirms by his infantile actions that he is just a immature boor who only wants that which he cannot have. Hmmm reminds me of some men I know... ;)
Paul, who was just incarcerated for the murder of Felicia (she staged the whole thing and framed him to avenge her sister, whom he murdered in season one), implores Zach to go see his dying grandfather, Noah, to see if he will lend him some money so he can bail him out of jail. He tells Zach to tell the old man he wants the money to buy a car, but the dying billionaire sees right through him. He shoots Zach down saying that he won't give money to murderers (he also murdered Noah's daughter and Zach's mother, unbeknownst to Zach), and tells Zach he has no balls, and dismisses him saying he won't be giving him any of his estate. Zach goes to leave, but then stops and locks the door to Noah's bedroom. He goes to the respiratory machine that is keeping Noah alive and makes to hit the OFF switch. Noah chuckles, saying Zach doesn't have what it takes to do it. Zach hesitates, then with found determination turns the machine off. Noah, smiling weakly, takes his last few laboured breaths gazing proudly at his grandson. In the next scene the late Noah's estate manager is discussing the details of the estate with Zach, and confirms that everything is to be immediately transferred to him. Paul calls Zach on his cell asking if he was able to get the money, and when he can expect to see Zach again. Zach replies that he was unsuccessful, and that he doesn't know when he will be able to stop by the jail again. He gives his cellphone to Noah's estate manager, and asks for him to get him a new one...with a different phone number. Wow...guess Zach found his balls after all!!!
I have to admit the part that really choked me up the most was seeing Mike lying in the middle of the street after being run down, and then the next second we see Susan sitting outside her trailer wrapped in a blanket watching the candles burn down waiting for him to arrive. I know it's a season finale and all, but it would have been nice to have at least ONE happy ending! It would have been real nice to see them get back together.
Susan and Mike during happier times And I, like Housewives, am also done. I am done...tired...fed up...mentally and emotionally exhausted...just done. I chose heartbreak over loneliness, and now I am thinking of taking a vacation from heartbreak and just taking the loneliness. It's less of a rollercoaster and there are no surprises. It is a waste of my energy and takes a huge toll on my self-respect. No more. I am done.
May 20 Not going to the cottage...This weekend I am NOT going to the cottage on Lake Rosseau. I'm not going to open up the hot tub or get the boat into the water. I'm not going to stock the cupboards with food or clean off the deck chairs. I'm not going to invite all my friends and family to spend the weekend with me and sit outside until the bugs start biting drinking margaritas and chilling out.
I'm not going to do any of these things....because I do not have a cottage.
At least not YET. Sighhhh...I can dream, can't I?
One day I will own a cottage on a lake (doesn't have to be the ultra expensive Lake Rosseau area, but man that would be swell!) that is large enough to sleep myself and maybe five or so others. It will have a bathroom with running water and a shower, and it will have an awesome deck with a dock that leads out to the water. There will be nice deck furniture to lounge on, and maybe a hammock strung between two large trees for hot, lazy days when the mozzies aren't biting too much. Maybe I'll have a boat too, but it's not a huge priority. A canoe or paddle boat would be cool though. It won't be too far away, but yet not too close to home, say about an hour's drive. I will go up there every possible weekend in the summer, and definitely every LONG WEEKEND for sure.
Last summer, the girls and I rented a cottage in the Havelock area. I forget the name of the lake it was on, but it was perfectly situated. It wasn't a huge place, but still had lots of room for everyone to hang out and sleep. One night Amanda and I couldn't sleep, so we decided to go outside and lay on the dock to check out the stars. It was the most breathtaking scene I had ever witnessed. The stars looked so close you could almost reach out and touch them, and the Milky Way was clearly visible. We lied there for almost an hour just taking it all in.
This was the view from the deck. Behind Tanya there was an opening that led down to the dock
So this weekend, I'm staying home and not battling the traffic to get to cottage country. There's one thing I don't have to worry about at least. Yikes.
May 17 DON'T call me Ma'am!Gawd you sure know you're getting older when people start referring to you with that matronly nickname. It makes me feel ancient, and I don't like it at all. Today I stopped off at the local Jiffy Lube for an oil change, and the service guy punctuated everything he said to me with the M word. Yesterday after class at Durham College a security guard who passed me in the hall said "Have a good evening Ma'am". Ugh. Shutup!!!
I think the whole age thing started after I turned 25. I remember one day noticing that all the newly-drafted baseball players that year were YOUNGER than me...and it hit me hard. That coupled with the gleeful comment from one of my younger cohorts that I was now a quarter of a century old did little to keep my spirits up back then.
Now, with 40 looming ominously in the very near future, I can't help but speculate on my life and what I've accomplished in my four decades on this planet. I finished high school and some college (my education will never end, as I am of the mind that when your education is finished, so are you), obtained my hairstylist certificate, got married, quit smoking, had two kids, got divorced, met both my birth parents and many blood relatives, bought my own home, lost almost 25lbs, obtained my teaching/training certificate, completed three courses towards my HR certificate, and FINISHED REDOING MY FRIGGIN' BATHROOM!!!
Bizzy's Bathroom before...
...and after!!! Not bad, but I can't help but feel as if there are songs still left unsung. Maybe I'm meant to win a Pulitzer prize or discover the cure for the common cold, or something equally impressive. On the other hand perhaps it's my destiny to just be Bizzy Girl and entertain dozens (do I dare say hundreds???) of websurfers and MSN buddies with my retarded anecdotes and sarcastic wit.
At any rate, it's a journey, not a destination, and I'm doing my best to enjoy the ride as much as possible. But it would be just a little bit easier if I wasn't being reminded of my age at every turn! Call me Hey You, Lady, Sweetie, Dear, Sistah, or even BIATCH...but for the love of gawd please don't call me MA'AM!!!
May 12 Enjoying the weather :)I love this time of year. The weather is mild and much more conducive to being outside on a gorgeous day. Right now I am sitting on the patio at Casey's enjoying the sunshine and an Asian chicken salad.
The beautiful weather also tends to inspire me to do some deep thinking. I am pondering what it is that I really want for myself, and what I feel I should expect for myself. I think I have come to an important conclusion about that today, and I am feeling very good about it.
My new motto is 'all or nothing'. I deserve nothing less, and from now on I expect nothing less. I can now feel good about demanding this, and I intend to make no more bones about it from now on.
Bizzy OUT. May 08 Just a quickie......before I head into work. I don't know how often I'm going to be able to keep my blog updated, as I will be back in class as off tomorrow night. I haven't had much time lately to go online and do stuff, as I have been busy trying to keep my house clean, have a social life, taking care of my lawn and garden, and spending a lot of time in the kitchen preparing meals and stuff for this diet I'm on. I'm becoming the Queen of Multitasking: in fact I'm eating my breakfast as I type this!
A scene from my garden prior to being tended to. Check the HEYOOGE weeds.
Not much new to report anyway. We are trying to get a date set for my Dad's interment, which we have been waiting to do for when my sister came home from Arkansas for a visit. This will be happening hopefully the first week in July when we are all able to get together and pay our last respects. The funeral home has been keeping Dad's ashes on site there in the interim.
Well, I'm off to work...
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HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!
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