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April 23 That's IT!The gloves are off: I am officially declaring war on my body.
I am swearing off carbs for the next two weeks in an effort to drop some of the excess weight that I have accumulated over the past year. I am determined to get back down to at least 118lbs.
I have followed the South Beach Diet in the past and had great success with it two years ago. However I have found that the older I get the more resistant my body seems to get to diet and exercise. I am going to give this one last shot, and if I don't get the expected results I guess I'll be making an appointment with a dietician to help me form another plan of action.
In regard to the personal trainers at my gym, I haven't found them extremely helpful, so I have decided to follow the Body for Life program and do my own self-directed training.
So, if I can follow these diet and exercise programs consistently I should experience dramatic results. However, I am still saving up for an abdominoplasty, because all the sit ups in the world aren't going to put the elasticity back in my tummy after having two nine-pound babies inside of it.
So here I go...
April 07 Still hurts to laugh...I am slowly recovering from my injury on Monday. I should probably be staying away from the gym for a good couple more weeks, but I feel awful about myself. It will be awhile before I have the nerve to do another sit up, but there's probably no reason why I can't ease back into the rest of it.
Laughing...coughing...and worst of all sneezing still hurts like hell.
This weekend I'll just be taking it easy with the dudes, and I'll be helping them with their homework. Tyssen has got to get his grades up or he won't be allowed to test for his next belt level in Tae Kwon Do. It's the rule that all students must be achieving a B average in order to progress. Well up until this time his father has been lying to the martial arts teacher so that he could test. Well he is not going to do that anymore for the love of gawd. Nice example my son has to follow, isn't it?
He is at risk of not being promoted next year if he doesn't get his act together, and FAST.
My older son, on the other hand, has relatively little trouble with school. He has always achieved good grades. His brother, although he is very clever, has a hard time concentrating and getting focused on the work, which is something he will likely always have to struggle with - thanks to Yours Truly. I was plagued by the same problems as a youngster, and it kept me in trouble for most of my life, and still does on occasion. Although I am pretty good at smacking myself in the face, I do have a hard time keeping myself organized and on track.
The state of my house would attest to that.
April 04 Day EightToday I am doing NOTHING.
Not because I have given up or fallen off the wagon, but because I am an idiot and went and INJURED MYSELF.
Yesterday was lower body day. The last part of the routine calls for abdominals. Up until that point, everything was going swimmingly. I climbed onto the decline bench and hooked my feet under the rolls getting ready to do some crunches. I went to lower myself down to the starting position when...
...HOLY S**T!!! WHAT WAS THAT????
My entire lower abdominal wall just completely gave out on me and collapsed into the worst ever charlie horse known to mankind. It felt like someone grabbed my guts in their fist and just squeezed with all their might. I gasped...there was no breath in my lungs...and immediately dismounted the bench and collapsed onto the floor feeling sweaty and clammy and like I was about to pass out from the pain. It took me five solid minutes to recover enough to just stand up and hobble back to the change room where I tried to rest on the bench for a few more minutes. I knew I had to get myself home and get some ice on it pronto.
So it looks as if I have a vacation from the gym for the next week or so while I heal. According to the doctor this sort of thing can happen anytime and without warning, and it is likely a muscle tear.
Fantastic.
April 01 Day SixPeople I am VERY proud of myself! I completed my first week on the BFL program without missing a single day! That is cause for celebration! One week down, eleven to go until I'm a goddess.
Tomorrow being Sunday to program states that I am allowed to eat whatever I want and get a day off from working out. Woo hoo! Breakfast at Tim's, lunch at McDonalds and dinner at Pizza Nova (delivery, of course) - and I'm not getting off the couch except to pee.
Something I have never really appreciated about myself before until now is that I am inherently curious. I have a burning need to know WHY about pretty much everything. I liken myself to a typical three-year-old who is just discovering the world around her, and cannot stop asking the authoritative figures in her life that million dollar question prefaced with "Why...?" Even things that I should not give a damn about can still cause me impossible curiosity. Like when someone who had to reschedule a dinner date with you and then never calls you again to confirm the next date. Most girls would be losing that person's number so fast their head would spin. However I just can't seem to leave it at "He's just not that into you," and I have to know WHY. Of course I never waste time or energy trying to get the person to tell me why, I just lay awake at night trying to figure it out by myself.
Happy April Fool's Day everyone!
March 28 Day TwoQUESTION:
Why do creepy old men who can barely hold themselves upright join a gym?
(Hint - it's not to get in shape)
Give up???
ANSWER:
To get cheap thrills by gawking and leering at the women in their workout wear.
Now I have been going to this gym for almost a year, and this elderly gentleman has been a patron for as long as I can remember. I have noticed that he tends to take his time and fart around a lot, and doesn't really workout properly or for long enough. I thought he was just slow and inefficient, however today I came to realize that he may have a secret agenda.
Every time I walked by this older man, he would look right at me and gawk. Even when I returned his glare with a "Can I help you?" look on my face he didn't waver. I wasn't even there for very long today, yet I still felt as if I was being closely watched. It creeped me out to the point that I had to report him. I casually asked the girl at the desk if she ever got any complaints about people leering, and she said she did not. So I gave her an FYI, and described the man (a senior of short stature with glasses and shorts hiked up to his chest). She knew exactly who I was talking about, and said she'd make note of it. Guess it's only me he likes...yay.
March 27 Day OneI had a helluva workout today. I did upper body, and my arms don't know what the heck hit them. They are so tapped I can barely hold them up enough to type. I may have gone a little overboard.
Behold my new fitness bible...
This man promises me that in as little as twelve weeks I, too, can have a body like a goddess. I'm not following the program to a T, as it requires that you buy all the expensive health shakes, nutrition bars, etc. Not only does that cost a fortune, but the last time I did this program I bought all the stuff and ended up gaining weight on it!!! It calls for three meal supplements per day, but unless you're spending three hours each day in the gym it's too many calories. Instead I'm just following the exercise program and watching what I eat. I'll be ecstatic if I so much as lose ten pounds and end up with a smaller bum. Some ab muscle definition would be nice too, however after having two babies at over nine pounds each my tummy is pretty much stretched to the limit, and all the sit ups in the world aren't going to touch it. I'll have to drop about five grand for a tummy tuck to take care of that problem. Sighhhhhhh.
March 21 Oy...is that MY butt?OK, I'm TOTALLY stepping up my weight training as soon as I get home.
I caught a glimpse of my ass in the mirror this morning and nearly vommed. When I got out of the shower, towelled off and stood at the sink, the mirrored bathroom door was open behind me and offered a delightful view of my barn door backside.
Ewww is that really what I look like? And I thought I had is goin' ON.
So tonight, despite being dog ass tired, I dragged myself to the gym and forced myself to do thirty solid minutes of sweat-breaking high incline elliptical followed by a full upper body weight workout. My arms are now shaking so bad I can hardly type. I'm so going to feel it in the morning.
A few years back I did the Body for Life workout plan and got some nice results. I think I'm going to dig out that book again and get back in the saddle. January 24 Pretzel WomanTonight I spent an hour at the gym contorting myself into several precarious poses and struggled valiantly to keep my balance during the first yoga class I have taken in over ten years. I think I did pretty well, with only there being one or two moves I simply could not do.
This pose, called the Upward Bow, begins on the floor with your knees bent. You then bring your elbows up and plant your hands on the mat beside your ears and push yourself up. I used to do be able to just flip myself into this position when I was about 10 years old without even thinking about it. Now, forget it...I can't get past the Bridge variation.
 The Eagle pose is another one I could barely manage. The trick is holding yourself in this freaky, twisted form whilst you balance on one foot like some exotic bird. I think it's going to take me a few more classes before I can master this one. But I'm gonna master them all very soon! I'm determined...
December 15 My doctor is an a**holeI read somewhere that this city has something like one gas station for every 800 people, and one Tim Horton's for every 1000 people, but only one doctor for every 10,000 people. This fact, along with the fact that the Canadian health care system blows HARD, makes it a very frustrating experience when one is in need of any kind of medical attention.
I went to see my doctor today for a follow up appointment after my physical last week. Two years ago they found a tiny cyst about three millimetres in diameter on my thyroid, and I went back for another ultrasound to see if it had grown. I also had to have some bloodwork done and some other stuff. I arrived for my appointment and asked the nurse if I could possibly have a flu shot as well. She put me in a room and the doctor eventually came in. He rushed through the results of my bloodwork, and told me my iron was low and that I should eat more dark green leafy veggies and red meat, and said "Is there anything else?"
I had to ask him about the results of my ultrasound, as he didn't go over them, and he quickly looked over the chart and mumbled something about two 4mm benign cysts, then began to prepare the syringe for my flu shot. As my head swam with thoughts about how one 3mm cyst two years ago turned into two 4mm ones, he proceeded to stick me in the arm with the needle. Then he looked at me with this 'is-there-anything-else-I-can-do-for-you-because-I'm-a-delicate-genius-with-much-better-things-to-do-than-answer-your-insipid-questions' type look on his face. I found myself getting defensive and irritated at his flippant attitude, and missing my old doctor in Sunderland like crazy. Good old Doctor Tommy always had a jar full of Lifesaver lollipops for the kids. One day he ran out of suckers, and my youngest son, who had been very brave during his vaccinations, was devastated. Thinking quickly, Doctor Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. "Will this do?" he boomed in his thick Scottish accent, his eyes twinkling as he handed it to my son. Tyssen's face lit up. "Cool!" he exclaimed, genuinely floored.
Snap back to reality. I am sitting in the examination room staring down the biggest asshole with a doctorate degree that I have ever met telling myself that I had such a difficult time finding a new doctor when I moved back to this city that I will just have to find a way to deal with it. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just make an appointment with another doctor and get a second opinion on my 'benign cysts' before they became 'malignant carcinomas'. Unfortunately that's not how our health care system operates, and besides, I'd probably have a six-month wait before I could get in to see anyone anyway.
There's a new clinic down the street that's due to open sometime within the next year. I'll be getting on the wait list there a.s.a.p. Until then, I'll be dragging myself in to see Dr. Jekyll because bad health care is better than no health care at all.
You gotta love the irony of it all. What good is a full tank of gas and a great cup of coffee if you are DEAD???
December 11 Chicken soup for lunchI feel like CRAP. This stupid cold is just hanging on for dear life and seems as if it's never going to end...ever. I've turned into a wheezing, hacking, sniffling, mouth-breathing, snot-making machine. The soggy tissue pile beside me is getting bigger by the minute. Ewww, so incredibly gross. I can see how people can get addicted to nasal mist, because it works SO WELL you just wanna keep sniffing it. I managed to get through my Christmas party last night with the help of Dristan (thank you thank you thank you)...and a few glasses of Shiraz.
My tenant came home today after being away for almost three weeks. I guess her folks went down south for a holiday and asked her to watch their house or something and she's been staying there. Anyhow she came home a few times briefly - once to do laundry and pick up a few things, and once to drop off her December rent cheque. Three days ago I came home and Darcie (the student renting out my spare bedroom) handed me an envelope that she had found slipped under my door. It was the tenant's written notice that she was MOVING OUT! Woo hoo, as of January 31st I will FINALLY be rid of that headache! I'm thinking of having a tenant-moving party...in the BASEMENT. Anyone wanna come?
Dreaming of a tenant-free, snot-free Christmas...
September 15 Comic reliefA ventriloquist was doing his act onstage one evening when he started poking fun at blondes.
After a few jokes a blonde woman in the audience stood up.
“That is enough!” She protested. “I happen to be a very successful and accomplished blonde woman, and I am highly offended by these jokes. It is because of people like you who perpetrate this kind of stereotype that blondes are negatively viewed in our society!”
The ventriloquist was speechless. Feeling ashamed of himself, he began to stammer out an apology.
“You stay out of this mister!” The blonde interrupted. “I’m talking to that little creep on your lap!”
What did Mick Jagger say when he went to the Playboy mansion and found Hugh Hefner on top of Dennis Weaver???
"Hey Hugh! Get offa MacLeod!"
It must be the first mating season for buddy on the outside...what do you think??? Methinks he's gonna get the crap gored out of him if he doesn't get the hell off suitor #1 but quick!
Works for me!!! A bear and a rabbit were both taking a dump in the woods one day. The bear turned to the rabbit and said: "Do you have problems with poo sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said "No, I don't." So the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit.
Hey dude...roll one for Bizzy, will ya???
September 10 Picking up the pieces of my sweet, shattered dreamHi guys.
I want to thank everybody who stopped by to send their condolences to me over the past few days since my father's passing. It meant more than you will ever know: Bizzy appreciated your kind thoughts and wishes from the very bottom of her broken little heart.
Roxy, Jacquie, Kimmy, SBC, Susan, and Mike, for your sweet words of encouragement and taking the time to write them...thank you. For everyone who stopped by to simply read my tribute blog to Dad, I appreciate you too! I hope you will keep popping by to say HI while I grapple with life without my Daddy. I have never lost anyone so close to me before, so I expect it may take me awhile to adjust. It seems so surreal that he is gone forever. I don't know what I'm going to do on my Sunday afternoons anymore now that I can't go visit him and bring him a Tim Horton's coffee. I don't think I'll be able to drive past the home he stayed at, play Trivial Pursuit (his favourite game), or listen to Gordon Lightfoot for a long, long time.
I got the call from the home Monday evening just after midnight. I was still up, but about to go to bed when the sound of the phone ringing pierced the dark house. I begged for it to just be the home calling to let me know that Dad had a minor diabetic reaction or something that they would typically call me about. However when I answered the call and the nurse didn't start off with "Don't worry, it's not an emergency," I knew immediately that he was gone. I called my Mum first, because she was still friends with him after they divorced, and she was right there with us while we watched him wither away from the kidney disease he battled for ten years. She was devastated for us. Then I called my sisters, who both knew before answering what the news was. We went over to the home to see Dad and say goodbye. He was in his bed, and just looked like he was sleeping, except it was evident that the soul had moved on. He looked smaller to me somehow, and of course not himself. I spent some time alone with him to kiss him goodbye and tell him I loved him. Oh how I wish I had been there when he passed. I didn't want him to be alone when it happened!
We had a nice funeral for him yesterday. We played Gordon Lightfoot in the background while people came to offer their words of comfort, then the ceremony immediately afterwards. Some of Dad's former coworkers from CFTO-TV stopped by to pay their respects. It was very touching to see them there. Dad spent about twenty years working in the master control room doing audio for CTV News and Canada AM. He was very well-liked by that crew. The flowers were beautiful and very creative. The people at the funeral home were lovely, and did everything in their power to make sure our wishes were met. Some of my Mum's friends got together and chipped in some money for us to help cover costs because they knew Dad didn't have much to leave us. There are still some bad feelings about how my Dad left my Mum when we were small, but her girlfriends came to offer us girls support, and by putting their personal feelings aside just for that one day, it proved to us how much we mean to them. That kind of selflessness does not go unnoticed! My ten-year-old son wrote some words the night before, and got up in front of everyone to read them. His cousin and younger brother accompanied him. This is what he said:
"To Grandpa AKA Boppa: I was very close to my grandfather. For example, 3 years ago every 1 out of 3 weekends we would visit Grandpa. Everytime we'd wave to the wide angle camera (in the lobby of his apartment building that all the tenants had access to). When we would leave, he'd give us a hug, a kiss, and a candy. My Grandpa was, is, and always will be in my heart. I love you Grandpa." He almost made it to the end, but then broke down and started to cry when saying the last two sentences. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. He was very brave getting up in front of all those people. We are all very proud of him. I later found out that my stepfather had left the videocam sound recorder on (he took a few pans of the room for my sister in Arkansas who couldn't be part of the day), and had recorded the entire thing. My Aunt Sylvia read exerpts from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet on Joy and Sorrow, and Death for me, and my sister Pam had asked her friend be there in her place to read a letter she had written to my Dad. At the end of the ceremony, we played Carefree Highway by Gordon Lightfoot (the song from my last blog). My sister Jen's mother-in-law had refreshments afterwards at her place, and we all gathered there to remember my Dad and the unique person he was. It was a very special that everyone came to honour him this way.
I realize that people grieve very differently, and for differing lengths of time. I have no idea how long it is going to take me to get back to life as it once was. I know Dad wouldn't want me to be moping around forever, and would encourage me to get on with it because he is happy now. About fourteen years ago, he lost a very dear friend when her ex-husband brutally murdered her. Ellen was a peach, and everyone loved her. One day she ran into her ex at their marital home when she went over to paint it before it went on the market. They argued and he stabbed her 21 times with a fishing knife and bludgeoned her with an axe. I got a call from Dad that night around midnight (the same witching hour when I received my call from the home about Dad on Monday night!) asking me to come over right away. I knew someone had died, but he didn't tell me anything over the phone. I went with him the next day to identify Ellen's body. Dad mourned for her for three years before he got back to being his old self. It broke my heart to watch him suffer with that grief, but he really needed that time to get over it all. The fact that she was taken so suddenly and brutally had to have had some effect.
So now I sit here wondering what to do. We still have some of Dad's stuff to pick up from the home...a chore I am dreading. We already went through some of his things, and it was not easy. He had a meagher few belongings, but they were the things that meant the most to him in this world: pictures of my kids, pictures of us - his daughters, his signed Blue Jays baseball, CFTO memorabilia, his spy novels, favourite coffee mugs, and train books. I also found some letters we had written him over the years that I had forgotten about. There was also a cassette tape of a psychic reading he'd had done some years ago, as well as another tape recorded just recently of his wishes for his care. It was addressed to me, but for some reason I never got it. I am going to listen to it when I can get up enough nerve, but I know it is going to kill me.
So I'm off now to pick up the pieces and try to get on with my life. I have been living at my sister's all week, and now have to come home to an empty, childless house, put on my game face, and prepare to go back to work Monday...
...and life goes on.
August 27 Depressed today...I can't seem to get motivated today. I did manage to get one major chore done and out of the way, but now I'm sitting here unable to do anything else. I think I'm depressed.
Right now I am staring out the glass doors to the back patio where the evidence of a crime remains. It seems my stepfather, whom I know only means well, cut up a piece of furniture of mine with a hacksaw so it could be easily disposed of with the next garbage collection. He did not consult with me about this beforehand. There is a neat outline of sawdust and some chunks of splintered wood that lie around the area where he performed this dastardly deed.
He has been over at my house quite regularly lately helping me do some maintenance around here that I can't do myself, and he has been a really big help. I have told him how much I do appreciate all that he does. However he often gets a little carried away...
You see, my mum and stepdad like to get rid of stuff. They feel that it is useless to hang on to anything that you are not using every day. I have a hydraulic stylist's chair and a station with a mirror that are just collecting dust downstairs. I do not have the ability to set the stuff up myself, and it has been waiting patiently for me to decide what to do with it for the past year and a half since I moved here. I always figured that I would one day have my hairstyling area in my laundry room when it was finished. The other day Mum suggested I do something with the stuff, and I agreed that I should make a decision about it.
Well I came home last night to find that my stepdad had put the chair out to be collected with the garbage on Tuesday. I called Mum and was told that he had actually promised someone the chair, and that they would be picking it up today! You see, Stepdad asked Mum what my plans were for the stuff, and she told him I wanted to get rid of it!! I NEVER SAID ANYTHING OF THE SORT!!! I brought the chair back inside this morning and have found a temporary home for it under my stairs. I will apologize to the guy who comes to pick it up today and tell him I am not getting rid of it.
And today I noticed that my station and mirror are missing. The 'crime scene' in my backyard tells the whole story about what happened to it. Fortunately I don't mind so much that it is gone, but it is the fucking principle of the thing that is pissing me off.
And the proverbial straw:
My parents have been onto me about my finances lately, and are harping on me that I have to start cutting back on things because they are worried that I am going to go broke. I have incurred some major expenses lately with my basement apartment, and I'm hurting from it, but I'm far from destitute. While going through my mail today I found my cellphone bill opened and laid out on the stove. I have not opened any mail for a couple of days, and Stepdad has been asking me what my cellphone expenses are because he was working on a budget for me. He is the only person who would have had the opportunity to do it.
WHY DO PARENTS THINK IT IS OK TO GO THROUGH THEIR KIDS' STUFF AND OPEN THEIR BILLS?????
OMFG I am seeing RED right now. I don't even want to speak to my parents because I am so incensed. My mother became all defensive on me last night when I called about the chair saying Stepdad is 'only trying to help me', and she chastised me for not appreciating all the work that he does. No matter how gently I tried to reason with her about how I should have been consulted with, she only became more and more defensive. Stepdad also thinks I'm being foolish, and admonished me for hoarding my chair for no good reason.
This is one of those stupid things that seems so insignificant, yet snowballs to the point where relations are forever strained. I never thought I'd say this, but I almost wish I didn't live so close to home anymore! August 14 Full circleOctober 28th, 1969 - Daddy feeds baby Bizzy a bottle for the first time
August 14, 2005 - Bizzy feeds Daddy for the first time
My Dad is only 66 years old, and thanks to complications of being diabetic for almost 50 years, has now lost the dexterity required to lift a cup of coffee to his lips without spilling the contents...this is not right.
 When I was seventeen, I met this really cool guy at a party. I remember thinking how completely out of my league he was. Someone put on LL Cool J's new track "I Need Love", and he was dancing to it. I vividly recall the Fila muscle shirt he was wearing.
Well at some point later that night, it was brought to my attention (thought I don't remember how) that he liked ME. I was tripping. Me?! *looking around, then back again* Me??!! Yes, stupid, YOU. Well I fell for him like nobody's business, and when he dumped me after I got into trouble and had to move away, I was devastated. I continued to make the long drive to see him, even after he found himself another girlfriend. Man I made an idiot of myself for this guy, and let him use me just so I could be with him.
Well one day I finally found my self-respect, and gave it up. But I thought of him often, and wondered frequently as the years went by what happened to him.
Then one day at work about five months ago, we were looking for a number for the property management company, and my boss gave me a directory to look in to try to find the appropriate person. The main contacts for each department were listed, and some of them had photos along with their names and titles. I scanned over the names and photos until I came to one that was familiar to me - JAKE MARTIN*, Maintenance Dept. I thought to myself, hey that's the name of that notorious ex-boyfriend of mine. Then I glanced above the name to the photo, and I'll be goddamned if it wasn't him! I recognized him instantly, even though he had changed considerably. He was smiling that smile that used to make me melt.
Well the memories came flooding back...some good, some awful. But the one thing I remember distinctly was that Jake was diabetic. There was a crazy day when my girlfriend and I had made plans with Jake and some of his friends to get together at his place and hang out. When we arrived at the station near him, we called his house and were told by his mother that he was resting following a terrible, violent diabetic reaction that he had the night before. The paramedics were called, the fire department and the police because he was so combative.
Jake ended up coming up to our office to fix the heating system. I had asked the administrator to tell him that there was an old friend in suite 203 that would like to say Hi. He didn't know who I was until I told him. I had changed a lot since he knew me last. He is still the same old guy, except now he wears glasses because he vision is fading. One of the most common complications of diabetes is vision loss...often resulting eventually in blindness.
Jake contracted type 1 diabetes when he was sixteen. My Dad contracted it at eighteen. Both times it followed a traumatic life event. I see Jake often now when I'm down in the mall at lunch. He's usually fixing a broken door latch or touching up the paint job on a directory sign. But all I can think of now when I see him is how in another 30 years he is going to be in the same boat as my Dad, and his young son and daughter are going to have to help their Daddy lift his Tim Horton's coffee cup to have a drink.
I'm sorry...66 is just far too young...
*not his real name August 13 Samedi chez BizzyWell, I was gonna take Dad to see the new library today, because he's been talking about it for weeks. However when I called earlier to remind him I was coming, a woman answered the phone. She passed the receiver to Dad, and he sounded very disoriented, exhausted and incoherent. I couldn't get him to hang up the phone, or pass it back to the aide who was in his room feeding him. I ended up hanging up and calling the nurse's station. Shirley answered and told me that he got back late from dialysis, and his sugars were quite low, so they had to feed him in his room because he missed lunch by the time he got back. I guess it's not a very good day today for Dad after all. Maybe tomorrow...
I think I told him I loved him about six times during that call. Dunno if he understood me. I have a bridal shower to go to tomorrow...hopefully I can squeeze in a quick visit with Dad before or after. He has dialysis every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and he is completely tapped afterwards. The doctors tell us that most people on kidney dialysis don't live for ten years after they start treatment. Well my Dad is past that point now, and the doctors are scratching their heads as to what to expect from him, because they have never seen a renal patient live this long!
If you knew half of the luck my father has had in his life, the above comment would not surprise you. He has survived many diabetic comas and near fatal drops in blood sugar from the time he was originally diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes mellitus (juvenile onset) almost 50 years ago. They all occurred while he was fortunately either on the phone with someone or in the presence of someone, so that the appropriate medical attention could be immediately summoned. He nearly lost his life to sepsis, which is a blood infection that claims the lives of 60% of the patients that contract it. With his weakened immune system he should not have survived it. He was in the hospital for months recovering.
I personally believe that the reason Dad is still with us today is because he has three grandchildren on the way, and he is determined to see them. He is not lucid enough to admit this, but I firmly believe it. I fully expect him to be with us until at least next March, when my sister comes home for the first time after her twins are born.
Or maybe it's just wishful thinking: I dearly hope he gets to see those lambs.
OK...let's switch to something a bit more uplifting, shall we?
 "Honey, I'm home!"
What girl wouldn't LOVE to come home to this??? This adorable Naked Chef is borrowed from Amanda's site. There are more to check out, so go have a gander. Tasty stuff...and the recipes aren't bad either!
 Thanks, Amanda!
~Hey fellas!~
I found a pretty cool site y'all might wanna go peruse. Her name's Leslie, and she doesn't have anything to say, but a picture is worth a thousand words. 'Nuff said!
Brian, if you haven't found her already, she's definitely one for your Hotties list, n'est-ce pas??? You're welcome, sugga!
August 10 Bizzy's getting in shapeDid a solid workout at the gym today. I have discovered that I love love love the elliptical trainer! Except my feet fall asleep on it. I can't believe how many calories I burn on the damn thing! I burned almost 400 yesterday and over 350 today! Breaks a nice sweat too! Glad I have finally gotten into the fitness groove, 'cause I was starting to feel like this gal...
 How COMPLETELY NASTY is this???
BACHELORETTE PARTY, BABY! Saturday Sept. 10th
Celebrating the last days of singlehood for my girl Tanya's sister ~~ADRIANE~~
We doin' the PARTY BUS, and it's gonna ROCK!!!
It's fun being single at a bachelorette party...am I right girlzzz?????
P.S. Almost at 5000 hits ppl! HIT ME! HIT ME!! August 09 Can't sleep...This is what is keeping Bizzy awake at night lately:
Things I have to do before my sister's baby shower in two weeks:
-->BUY PAINT SUPPLIES
-->PAINT MY BATHROOM
-->GO SHOPPING FOR DECORATIONS, REFRESHMENTS, ETC.
-->VACUUM, DUST, DECLUTTER
-->SET UP TABLES AND CHAIRS
I love to entertain, but I never feel as if I am ready, and spend so much time stressing about it.
Job is sucking: Just pressure, pressure, pressure all the time. Very little enjoyment if any. You feel guilty leaving for lunch because there is so friggin' much to do. Something important is always forgotten resulting in a huge problem. Can't see it ever getting any better.
Dad is dwindling: He is wasting away before my very eyes. Can't stand it. Nothing can be done. No idea how long. Don't know how to prepare myself or the boys. He's only 66 for Christ's sake. Seems so unfair.
Kids are moving away to live with their Dad: I have never been apart from my kids for more than a couple of weeks since they were born. I feel like I'm losing them. Wonder if I'll ever have them back. I'll be living the life of a single childless woman, and I'm dreading it...
...among other things.
Waiting for the cloud to disappear and the sun to shine...
July 23 I'm back...didja miss me???
Well I guess y'all thought I'd been abducted by aliens, huh?
Truth is, Bizzy's been...well...BIZZY!
Last time I wrote I believe I was in hairdresser transition. Well I went to see someone new that a friend at work had recommended, and, well, I got BUTCHERED!!! That's right...Bizzy had a fight with the lawnmower!!! All my beautiful hair gone...GONE!!! You don't WANT to know how depressed I was Thursday night. Anyhow, I'm getting used to it now. Just takes me twice the time in the morning to get it looking acceptable.
I am getting over my first session with Tara, my personal trainer. GeezUSS she worked me to the bone! My thighs are still in shock, and it is pure agony to climb a small flight of stairs. I went back today for a hair of the dog, followed by a long soak in a bath of epsom salts, which I'm told is supposed to help. Feeling a bit better now, but still sore.
Well I'm off to my sister's place. We are going to see Dad, and I have to cut his hair it is getting so long. He, unlike myself, likes to be scalped. A number two on the sides, and the top finger length.
HUNK OF THE DAY
I found a pic of Viggo. Mmmmmmm, Strider....
   Now THAT'S a man worth shaving your legs for. He's tasty....
July 10 I'm a big bag o' Jell-oJust got back from my very first Pilates class, and I feel like a quivering pile of mush. OMG I didn't realize how out of shape I was!!! And for those of you who are familiar with this surprisingly-difficult-to-do technique, let me vent for a moment...
I CAN'T DO THE FRIGGIN' ROLL-UP!!!
A seemingly simple exercise in which you roll your torso up from a lying position to a sitting position. Yeah...completely impossible. I get 45 degrees up, and then hit a brick wall. I'm told I'll be able to do it eventually, so we'll see. For now I just look like an idiot having to use my elbows to get myself up. The instructor did say that I did very well on all the other exercises though, so that's a bit of a consolation. I am very hard on myself, in case you hadn't noticed.
So this morning it was the same drill again. This time I was already awake:
"Mommmmy!"
Silence
"Mommmmy!"
Silence
"Mommmmy!"
Silence
"Mommmmy!"
Silence
"Mommmmy! I've got a BIG one for ya!"
Would it KILL her to respond to the child on the toilet with a little praise for the poop he just made for her? Help me gawd. I just wanted to march downstairs and bang on her door and tell her to take care of it before I lost my mind. July 09 ~The Gratitude Spot~~~WELCOME~~
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL
"Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."
RABBI HAROLD KUSHNER
    What makes your soul sigh? Did something amazing happen to you today that you would like to share?
Our lives are typically so hectic and stressful these days. Much emphasis is being put on accomplishment and material gain that we lose sight of what it is that is going well in our lives. Many of us will never be happy because we are always trying to achieve perfection in an imperfect world. Let's share the love! What are YOU grateful for today? |
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